Sasstooth – Sarcastic Dachshund Wall Calendar
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More than 7,300+ Happy Customers
Twelve Months Of Sausage Dog Chaos
Some calendars just tell you the date.
This one has opinions.
Flip to January and the dachshund is already complaining about the weather.
February? He's judging your breakfast.
Every month pairs a new scene with a line straight from the dog's own mouth — dry, a little rude, and exactly what she'd say if she could talk.
Hang it by the fridge and you'll catch yourself reading it out loud.
Twelve scenes, twelve remarks — no month repeats a joke
✓ Twelve Months, Zero Repeats
No repeats, no filler. Twelve original scenes, each paired with a caption that actually lands.
✓ The dog talks back
Every line is written like the dachshund said it herself — sarcastic, dry, and a little too honest.
✓ Still a real calendar
Open-grid layout with room to jot down plans, so the humor never gets in the way of function.
✓ Looks like it belongs there
Straight out of the envelope and onto the wall — no assembly, no extra parts.
✓ Built for a full year on your wall
Sturdy printed pages that hold up month after month without curling or fading.
What you get today
- Sasstooth 12-month wall calendar
- A new illustrated scene and sarcastic caption for every month
- Open-grid layout with room to note the week
- Ready to hang out of the envelope — no assembly
- Free tracked shipping
- 30-day money-back guarantee
Calendars are printed once per year. When the run is gone, it's gone until next season.
Bring Sasstooth to your wall today
Try Sasstooth at home for 30 days. If it doesn't look right on your wall or wear the way you expected, return it for a full refund.
Frequently asked questions
Is the humor actually funny, or is it corny?
Each month pairs a scene with a caption written from the dog's point of view, so you can see the tone for yourself before it ever reaches your wall.
Does it come pre-punched for hanging?
Yes, it's ready to hang straight out of the envelope with no assembly needed.
Is there space to write in appointments or notes?
Yes, the open-grid layout leaves room to jot down plans for each day.
How long does shipping take?
All orders ship free with tracking so you can follow your calendar's progress to your door.
Does the denim paneling feel stiff to wear?
No. The panels are placed at the neckline, lapels and sleeves to hold structure, not across the body. The parts that touch you most are soft ribbed knit.
Can I wear this as my actual jacket in fall?
Yes, in mild to cool weather. It's a substantial knit layer, so think crisp fall days over a tank or tee rather than deep winter.
Will the knit stretch out at the elbows and hem?
The ribbed construction is built to spring back, and the denim panels take the stress at the sleeves and edges. Hang it rather than folding it to help it keep its shape.
Does it close in the front?
It's designed as an open-front layer. That's what lets the denim lapels frame the outfit underneath.
- Machine wash cold with similar colors
- Do not bleach
- Hang dry to keep the knit's shape
Every order is covered by our 30-day guarantee, starting the day your order arrives. Many issues are solved without sending anything back — damaged, wrong, or ill-fitting items are typically replaced free.
Changed your mind? Return it within 30 days of delivery for a refund — you cover the return postage, and there is no restocking fee. See our Refund policy.
No extra taxes or shipping charges. What you see is what you pay.
Your order is dispatched within 1–2 business days and delivered within a further 3–8 business days — most orders arrive within 4–10 business days. Free shipping with Canada Post, and you'll get a tracking link the moment it ships, so you can follow it door to door.
